Hm. Well, let's start with the ending shall we? I found it to be very... "Men In Black". I don't know if that was your inspiration in the first place, but starting from there, the story seems to pretty much be taking that path.

The beginning was, in my opinion, quite good. The way you so swiftly described Edgar's thoughts on his job and the way he, like all others, got the daily mail, making him as equal as everybody else, but still special enough to be highlighted was brilliant; the way you so quickly and cosily put us into this character's skin was very pleasant.

The way to the final part, though, the torso of the chapter, was what I found to be the weakest part, because I found it to raise too many questions. Like, "What other letters? Who is FP? Why was he so scared of them? Why would he think several people would follow him? Did he have real reasons or was he just paranoid? What the hell is going on?" It also makes the chapter shorter than it perhaps should've been, since the ending is so quick and sharp on our curiosity.

Also, wtf, a squid? Where did that come from? O_o

Otherwise, terrific piece of literature. Look forward to read more.

PS: Sorry I only sent you this today, yesterday my parents forced me out of the computer and I was rushed into pasting this onto Word; I still took a while finding it as I didn't remember where I had saved it. So yeah. Cheers, and congrats.

Very good. Well written smoothly flowing narrative that keeps the reader guessing up to the end. My only suggestion is to change the title to "Lords of the Universe."