|Reviews for Carpe Diem|
| fatbird33 9/21/09 . chapter 1
huzzah for winning the wcc! congratulations. and now for your prize:
usually i'm not a fan of rhyming poetry cause it often sounds forced, but i am pleased to say that none of these rhymes sounded forced to me. My favorite one was with flee and decree. nice.
this was my favorite line: "As fickle time - it swiftly flees." love the - in the middle. it adds a great effect.
there was one thing that bothered me. i don't know if you did it for style or if it was just a grammar error, but your random commas admist your lines. It stopped the great flow of the poem and they weren't necessary.
i loved the word usage of "beholden" what a great sounding word, especially when it's used in poetry such as this.
overall good poem, just the comma splices need to be fixed.
| Isca 8/1/09 . chapter 1
"Talk until the end of days." Aww, that's really beautiful.
"Fickle time." Excellent description.
The second stanza was my favourite - it flowed & rhymed particularly well.
| bipedalcooney 7/30/09 . chapter 1
[Descriptions/Images] I really like your descriptions in this poem. The way you describe emotions in a physical setting (the shore, the heavens, summer, spring, etc.) is very well done and sets a good mental connotation for the subject you are writing about. Pleasing imagery for a pleasing subject.
[Tone] Your tone in this piece is very well constructed too. The feeling of invincibility, joy, and eternity ring very strong and true. I can't help but believe that the two lovers will always be together. It's a very accurate representation of the feeling.
[Technical Aspects] I'm actually not a fan of rhyming poems. While your rhyme scheme wasn't terrible, it made the lines sound forced. The words you used to rhyme could have also been a bit more creative.
[Flow] The flow was very good. For the most part, it wasn't chunky or awkward, and it read with a pleasing bounce.
Overall, I enjoyed this poem. Great work and keep writing!