Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search Login Register Extras
Reviews For: Ethan
ess3sandra 2009-07-31 . chapter 1
?? one shot, story?
lizzical 2009-07-30 . chapter 1
Hi. :) I really liked the way you wrote Kit's grief in this. I think i was very realistic, the way she shreded all the posters and ripped the animals and cried. It was really sad. The only thing I can think of to make it better would be instead of ending it with Sherry running into the house, maybe going back to Kit for another few lines. Because you started with now, you should probably end with now too, and bring the chapter to a full circle, if that doesn't sound too crazy. >.>

But anyway, that's just my thoughts. It's really good anyway, I'll definitely read whatever comes next.

-Lizzy
kayoko123 2009-07-30 . chapter 1
Oh damn. She didn't kill him, right?

I liked the little bit in the chapter about collecting toys from the fair and arranging them in chronological order. It was very cute.

Thanks for writing!
Return to Top