You mention in you’re a/n that your out of practice, and I can definitely tell that this is not of the same caliber as your Whale poem. It felt jumbled, and kind of out of sync - you have a lot of ideas though, and not a lot of breaks between them, so maybe that’s why.

Throughout the piece I kept thinking about summer, I don’t know why - but I had visions of summery butterflies, and the sun high over head. So as a mood piece, this totally worked, maybe a rewrite will strengthen it along. Keep up the good work.

Much love,
Juliet.

Jules, via the Review Marathon (links in my profile)

"These butterflies will break bones." I love this line. I think it's so powerful that something considered 'fragile' and 'beautiful' has the ability to emotionally or physically 'break' someone - WOW! :D

Oh,
there's something special about this that I like a lot. I can tell that it's been a while since you've written, the emotions in this feel raw and honest. And I've always enjoyed metaphors that involved bones and things inside us that we try to keep safe. Take care.