Aww! I just want Trey and 'Steve' to cuddle too :D Love it!

I like the way you hint at just enough detail of what happened and what might be going on to keep the reader interested without revealing everything all at the same time. Nicely done.

Hey Elkica! Sorry it took me so long to finally come around and read this over. I don't really have a lot of crits--work has been eating my brain lately, leaving very little for anything else. *Laughs* I like that 'certainly-not-Steve' has his own name now. ^_^

I do have to say I'm getting a little antsy with Trey's character/personality... keep in mind, I have a hard time with 'avenger' types in general. Still, you're doing a good job of drawing the reader along with little hints and tantalizing peeks as to what happened to the poor guy to make him this... um... psycho. Yeah, I'm going to use that word. Not quite raving mad, but he's definitely got a screw or two loosened. ^_^

I'm really curious about Nash--what kind of stuff he's gone through to be this unbelievaly chill with a down-right horrible situation. If he isn't somehow being manipulative when he's all 'you have to get out or you're going to be in trouble' I feel all 'aw, what a sweetheart'... or maybe I'm thinking he's a little crazy. Because, really, who is that concerned with someone who is torturing him. I really hope he's not really Steve. That would make me sad--unless the jerk Trey is looking for just used Steve's name... that might work too. ^_^

Anyway, I'm still sticking with the story, as I have several questions I need answered. Cheers!

Hmm, this is really intteresting. I bet Steve is trying to protect someone he loves. Poor Trey how could anybody do that to another person!? Anyway great couple of chapters

loved it ,I wonder what happened ,maybe Steve lost his memory or is part of a witness protection program .Tray doesn't seem to stable ,I wouldn't want to lie to him .

So far so good i love the two chapters i've ead thus far and i'm looking forward to the next post.

Now that these mysterious people are coming what will happen?

Wow, I think you really did great with this. Such a change in style but you pulled it off wonderfully and it really is convincing and very realistic. I do hope you continue writing this!

Wow! I'm really curious how this one is going to turn out. You've done a great job building suspense here. You're walking a delicate line with Trey's personality/actions (as far as making him likable despite the fact he's torturing someone) and you're doing it pretty well. Generally I don't feel a lot for characters who are out for revenge and are willing to do anything (i.e. hurt innocent people) to get it. It seems that you're very talented in making me enjoy what I don't normally! *Laughs*

I really loved the 'Surely-Pretending-to-be-Steve' line. It was both intriguing and cute. Yep. I mean cute. It also adds to the whole 'who is this guy really' question. ^_^

Just a few things to point out that made my little brain go 'hmm?":

When describing Steve's apartment you say that it's messy but then you say it's clean. I think I get what you were going for (cluttered/not-picked up but lacking dirt/grime). That kind of situation always a tough thing to describe, but first read through it didn't really come across. Consider using words like 'clutter', 'junk', 'mess'. And then mention the things that Trey doesn't see--dust bunies, moldy old food, dust, piles of dirt, etc.

Also, you said that Trey got Steve tied up like a worm--but then mention that Trey gets his hands/arms beneath Steve's armpits to move the poor guy around. I think I have the picture of how Steve's been trussed up, so perhaps you want to rethink the 'worm' imagry because it sorta suggests that no one should be able to get hands in any crevices.

Those were just a couple of things that I notice that you might want to think about. On the other hand you may not want to think about it at all. ^_^ I'm looking forward to the resta nd I'm also looking forward to your fantasy stuff. *beams* Cheers!

I like what I've read but is this just the first chapter? I hope so I'd like to see where it goes. I think some of the dialog could use a tune up ("I think you won’t hurt me" might better as "You won't hurt me" or "I don't think you'll hurt me".) but otherwise a relly good read.

wow ,I sure hope he has the right guy after doing all of that to him .Can't wait to see how this unfolds .

I like this story already and this is only chapter one i can't wait for you to post the next chapter up.

I read your post about people not reading or commenting and i just hope that it doesn't stop you from posting i very much enjoy reading your stories.

I reread the other one you posted on lj but i didn't comment on it because you already know that i love reading your stories anyway.