|Reviews for Blocking Clouds|
| Tewr 8/20/09 . chapter 1
"They tumbled in to block out the sun." This was a great image. I immediately thought of the movement of tumbleweeds. The tumbling sounds so destructive, and in essence, in this poem, that's what it means.
"Their sun was not coming because of the clouds. All of those clouds." Ah, this line is a very nice, solid ending. Those cursed clouds. You leave me loathing them.
| I be a poet lost in morbidity 8/16/09 . chapter 1
This is really good, I like the way you repeated things like, "But clouds... clouds came" And "His kiss, oh that silly little kiss" It makes the speaker seem like they are telling it with a lot of feeling, because people don't always talk without hesitations like sometimes is written. I also like the variation in length of the stanzas, it's not too random but things like "He didn't know what to say" put on its own makes it much more powerful.
| Isca 8/6/09 . chapter 1
"Insecurities were lost like shadows in the light." I really like this simile - it's striking, moving, and mature.
"But clouds...clouds came." I like the way in which you formatted this line - the elipsis suggests that the speaker is pausing to think about all the things that came between her and her lover (in this case, it's a metaphorical cloud).
"It killed the feeling." This is probably my favourite line from the piece, simply because the tone here is perfect.
Keep up the good work, Areku. :)
| kloun mannequin 8/4/09 . chapter 1
it's sweet but the ending is sad but I really love the imagery.
| Vancelle 8/3/09 . chapter 1
Nice A/N x)
Anyway, I liked it, for the most part. It had an easy, almost casual flow to it. There were, however, some lines that didn't seem like they fit.
'As memories of the relationship vanish.' - You have all these lovely but ordinary words like 'insecurities' and 'vanish'...and then comes along 'relationship'. The word just doesn't work here for some reason. Maybe it's just me.
And there's something about the last line, 'All of those clouds,' that just seems...I don't know...anti-climactic?
| VelvetyCheerio 8/3/09 . chapter 1
Oh, love the A/N. XD
Anyway, good poem. I was surprised it was not in fact about cock blocking. But clouds is pretty darn close. XD
It was, to say the least, very sad. Such a silly mistake people can make...
Good to see you writing again. Hooray random inspiration!