Sorry I'm so far behind on my alerts!

This is screaming for punctuations. You ask questions without question marks. It's confusing.

"I know what I felt"... that seemed forced for the rhyme because the rest of the piece is in present tense.

I like the piece though. The questions you ask are powerful and I really love the last two lines because it's not like a good/bad comparison. Both would kill the ice.

PS If you're bored check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (links in my profile).

This is very nice.. My favorite line

'If I kiss death
Will you be mine'

very cute. nice job!!

XKristie MarieX

GOOD :)