hey! just write another chapter Dx

I liked it, but it was a little predictable. I suspected Cara would get caught once you described the Hael. But it was still pretty good. You could use a little more description on the tribe, because I was a little confuzzled on that issue.

I am very intrigued in what will happen next and further down the road.

I haven't read a story written in present tense in a while and I find it very refreshing and usually I do not like reading works written in first-person, but in this case I am enjoying it a lot.

The problem I have with the story is where it says:
“Come on,” growls Gerry, and he takes me to the caravan. Roughly, he tosses me inside and slams the door shut. The caravan is small and I curl up against the locked door.

Uh, who's Gerry? That name just came out of nowhere. I even bothered to reread the whole section again to see if I had missed something, but you know, it's a minor thing and it is possible that I'm just being weird - it's starting to get late.

Anyway, I am looking forward to the next chapter. ^_^

Update soon!

~Jax