Herro there. Me again after such a long time. Actually I planned to review this only after getting up a new chapter of The Eternal Grail, but guess some things just can't wait lol! XD Well, I do think that this is an interesting start to part 2 of this story. To be honest the whole afterlife part here reminds me of The Great White Throne in the Book of Revelations in the Bible. I don't know why, but I just felt this way. And I guess the kind dude interceding for Olivier was Valcar? Anyway, interesting to see how Olivier will go about performing his tasks. I wonder if the dead needed to sign the confession will include Olivier's parents. Things definitely won't go smoothly for him if that's the case by my own guess. :S

Sorry for the belated review (I like saying the same thing over and over again). First few weeks of school and I moved into a new apartment. Barely had any time to do my own writing.

Anyways, I like how the courtroom-like scene played out. On the other hand, it sometimes felt as if the judges and other entities in there weren't inhuman enough. Mainly it's the line, “Not just like that. He would have most likely ran from your home. He would have found it hard to trust you again.” Since they're other worldly beings capable of rewarding and punishing any soul that passes their way, should they be more sure about something? A common way most people do supernatural entities like you're portraying here is having them speak in absolutes. THIS is what will happen. THIS is what you will do. YOU need to put down that lamp, Carrie. Put it down, you're GOING to break it. Really wish you could italics in these reviews. Anyways, I just found the dialogue a little off putting on the deities/judges/anthropomorphic personification of death(s) part.

Other than that, I enjoyed it.

Shadowhound

ooh this chapter was so creepy! Poor Olivier, especially mixed in with the fact that he can't see what's going on. I would be so freaked out!

'“Stand up!” came a firm voice booming from an unknown source.' Ooh ominous!

'You will be punished with pain unimaginable in an increasing rate to your soul for the rest of eternity. There will be no reprieve. You will be constantly reminded of your crimes' sounds nasty. I'm glad that the other guy is more sympathetic. I really enjoyed the explanation of the difference between what Olivier did to Alteng's eye and the other things that he did, makes the jusgement seem very level-headed.

'never wanted to know the solidness and shape of my face and body' Once more, I love how you've portrayed his blindness, and his ignorance of what it's actually like to be able to see.

'You will face your sentence half a day for everyday, excluding your birthday, for the next seven years or as long as it may take to achieve your goal here' Nice that he gets his birthday off. I wonder if they do cake :)

'This contract will be a plea to the ones that you have wronged. If you acquire the signatures of those that are here in the World of the Dead, then you will go back to the World of the Living as a ghost to get Altenglisch Hans Cuxhaven’s signature of forgiveness. If you succeed, you will be as one pardoned. You will never know the joys of the Blessed, but neither will you be punished any longer. You will have seven years to do this. If you fail to get even one signature, then your punishment will be reinstated in full with no reprieve or hope. Is this understood' Oh god that sounds hard! He's gonna need all the help he can get! I wonder how on earth he's going to be able to get his dad to sign that. Should be pretty interesting to see!

I love how dark this story is - at times it can be so twisted and angsty, which is great. I also really like how you've portrayed the afterlife in this one. Looking forward to seeing more!

Wow, this is one tense and intruging chapter. I couldn't find any typos, like any other of your stories, and I'd say that this is one of the most attention-catching stories I've read.

Keep up the great work!
Narq.