|Reviews for Reception Deception|
| simpleplan13 8/9/09 . chapter 1
I liked the rhyme in the title, I thought it was cool with those two lines.
"Like a leak dripping from the cieling"... ceiling
"Something that wont be leaving"...won't
"These breathes that one is thieving"... breaths
I didn't like the rhyme scheme at all. The beginning ones seemed forced in a lot of places, but then you totally change it from all rhyming to aabb, but in the second to last stanza only lance and dance rhyme. Very inconsistent.
Also, ending it with a period seems silly. It's not one long sentence. Either punctuate it correctly or not at all.
"There's a crack in my armor/Seeds of love sown like a farmer"... I liked those lines. I thought that rhyme and the simile were really great.
I do like the piece. I think it's really sweet and it describes being lovestruck really well and differently.
PS If you're bored check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (links in my profile).