| Reviews for Abandoned: After the Storm |
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MagicWords 8/23/09 . chapter 3This is all very lovely Chandra Grace! I'm so glad you're letting this character shine through! Your descriptions are lovely and I can totally tell that your writing is tremndously improving! Keep at it! I love this! MagicWords p.s. I've got some new stuff up too if you'd like to take a look at it ;) |
lionattack 8/11/09 . chapter 1The second poem seems to repeat a lot of images from the first-hungry, bloody, the bombs, and the 'why' question. I feel like you've dealt with these in the first, and maybe if you add a third poem, explore different aspects of the situation. The man on the ground was an interesting detail, and passing him up rather than helping him was a fantastic choice-it really shows the desperate situation. I also like the level of imagery, and you've really set the atmosphere well. A third poem would be a cool way to explore what exactly happened, or maybe delve into the character a bit more. What exactly have they lost? I know they've lost *everything* but a specific story or detail rather than a general blanket statement would help round out the speaker. Or, what are they going to do now? I'd definately read a third poem, it's pretty spell-binding. Good job! |