"he was not there to touch you, guide your hand/into smashing"... That's odd. I feel like smashing needs something. Like what did the hand smash into?

I did like the piece. Your word choices were all really great. I also liked the bits of alliteration, they worked well in the piece. Really bittersweet ending. Nicely done.

PS If you're bored check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (link in my profile).

The last stanza is my favourite - the 'guise of organs' and 'one leg' parts were particularly amazing. :)

A few changes I'd make: the "mail, yours," feels kind of awkward - I just thought I'd point that out, it might be GOOD that it's awkward-sounding, since it calls attention. Also, "steel and shrapnel" is almost redundant - take out steel?

Fantastic portrayal of an American father. My own dad happens to be a fighter pilot, so you can imagine how this applies. Favorite stanza was the second.