|Reviews for because i'm the ocean|
| tonight we bloom 12/27/09 . chapter 8
you are exceptional at haikus!
| Mirabella 9/27/09 . chapter 1
Love that second line. Nicely done. :)
| tonight we bloom 8/16/09 . chapter 10
w o w.
| tonight we bloom 8/16/09 . chapter 3
| no.peace.los.angeles 8/15/09 . chapter 1
Oh, that is so aching and sad. Love the personification. That is gorgeous. Keep writing! :)
| ArekuKawaii 8/14/09 . chapter 2
'the goldfish peers
uncertainly through the glass'
This intro (yes the entire first two lines) really intrigued me. I liked them because a goldfish doesn't normally worry, so it was cute to think of it worrying. It made me think of a cartoon goldfish going wide eyed at the edge of the bowl.
I didn't like the last line because I wasnt sure where stage fright came in with the goldfish. However, it did make me think about that. I liked the dash at the end of the second line that separated those thoughts. However, I liked the part about the goldfish more.
| heart'sespionage 8/12/09 . chapter 10
what i like is that in all of these haiku is that there is a standout beautiful balance between action, imagery, and emotion. you really touched upon great ideas with chapters 1 and 2
| young and the reckless 8/12/09 . chapter 10
oh i like this one very much.
simply because lonely beds are usually referred to as "empty"
... but you've pointed out that they're really not unoccupied.
i like it. kind of like the glass... (empty/full?)
| tonight we bloom 8/12/09 . chapter 4
this whole thing, is just.
| Isca 8/12/09 . chapter 10
"My bed is half-empty." For some reason, my first reaction was to say: "The bed that I lie in is half-empty." I don't know why I felt the need to tell you that, but for some reason, this line really struck a chord with me - it's chilling - as if I've been where the speaker has been before. Deja vu, anyone? :P The autumn light/flowerless vase imagery was both creative and divine - you mixed beauty with sorrow so well here. I really enjoyed reading this haiku collection. Keep up the great work. :)
| Isca 8/12/09 . chapter 9
Aww, that's so cute. It's a perfect burst of happiness after the last entry. It reminds me of friendship and warm, summer days. :)
| Isca 8/12/09 . chapter 8
Oh my. I really like this one too.
"The door creaks." Honestly, I was utterly hooked right then and there. No more needed to be said. There's something so dark and profound about this line that I didn't even dare allow myself to think about what horrors lay hidden and dormant inside of the house. This line is truly hypnotizing.
"The wind chimes rust." Whoa. That's pretty darn intense. Something beautiful grows old and fades. So, it's official, this is another one of my favourite entries - it's like reading a short story by Poe. :D
| Isca 8/12/09 . chapter 7
"The house and I smile." There's something so youthfully devilish about this line - it's like the house and the speaker share a secret. I also think it's interesting that the sound of the blowdryer makes the speaker smile instead of causing her frustration.
| Isca 8/12/09 . chapter 6
I absolutely love the 's' sound repetition in this poem - as if the sobs and scars really do trickle down the speaker's skin.
I also really enjoyed the connection between 'stained glass windows' and 'scars' - as if the speaker insists that her scars, and not her eyes, are the windows to her soul.
This is one of my favourite entries so far. :)
| Isca 8/12/09 . chapter 5
"Silver light shrouds the green grasslands." Your use of alliteration here really makes the nature imagery stand out - wow! :)
"I'm not quite right." At first, I wasn't sure how I felt about this line - it seemed a bit out-of-place - but then I read it a few more times and realized that I liked the background-story it so subtly inspired - perhaps the speaker doesn't feel like her own beauty compares to that of the 'green grasslands.'