Ha, nice.
I'd take off the end, though, leaving it at either "More than you know" or "falling to the ground".
It would just add to the creep-factor.
It's great anyway, the concept, at least.

Intersting...um...it was a good read, felt almost like a Stephen King short story. Quirky, not bad, imaginative. Sorry, not quite sure how to explain. I thought it was creative and enjoyable but at the same time, sorta, not really awkward. But...never mind I will shut up.

THAT NIGGA KILLED BAMBI NAH BITCH U GOT WHAT WAS COMING serve u right ha got one to ur head D: