This poem has a swift pace and a definite rhythm, I don't know why but I heard it in my head in a whispering voice.

My favourite lines are

"A world where our faults

Can lay themselves bare

But no one will know

Because no one is there"

The whole poem is very secretive and alluring, especially the last line.

The only think I'm confused about is the use of half-rhymes and occasional full rhymes.

This is very nice. The rhythm stays fluid and the rhyme unforced. I like the different images you chose and created, and my only suggestion may have been to avoid re-using the same words if possible, though it didn't detract too much from the piece and I recognize how difficult it may be to find substitutes in such a tight structure.

It also has a strong ending, that's very good.

This was beautiful and sensual. I loved it. :)

"A world where our faults can lay themselves bare." This line is quite beautiful and profound.

"A world where our faults

Can lay themselves bare

But no one will know

Because no one is there"

I love the whole poem, but those lines really stick out to me. I think that kind of intimacy with our lover is something we all look for.

I also love the ending, it really makes the whole poem sound seductive and enchanting.

Great work!