Wow, I liked this. It was very short but you managed to communicate the feel, mood, environment or whatever remarkably well, and I feel a little chilled. One thing though, was the repitition of 'bronzed fingers' and 'minivan' at the end of two sucessive sentences on purpose? Because that was the only thing I didn't like, and it distracted me from the flow of the piece. Otherwise, this was well done.