wow, that was pretty gory lol, even though you technically didn't describe much fo the gore, his reactions made it more evident. I really liked it.

This seems like a poem to me, since it's so deep. I just don't really like the periods in between phrases. The ...

I like the way you have written this out. The way the character speaks is fluent, and for the most part highly entertaining. Good job.

Wow that was really good. I'm not sure why exactly I felt that way when reading it, but the way that you structured it was interesting and quite captivating. Good job.

This is tight son! Good beginning now keep it coming sucka!