I'm sad that this is just a short story and not going to be expanded. I would love to read more of this. You seem to be good at word building (parallel universes.) I also like the character interaction.

I noticed that "said" is repeated more than a few times. I can suggest replacing some of them with another word to enhance/vary the word choice of this piece.

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Feedback:

{“Oh, please,” Jane begged..} I'm wondering if having two periods at the end (an ellipis?) is intentional.

ahaha cute, never thought sci-fi and a western could go together, but you pulled it off with the right amount of touch =]

Interesting, fun to read, and very sweet. The cowboy lingo was done well, especially (as the real Mirabella already pointed out) this line: “Well, excuse me all to hell for being such a lowdown polecat that’d try to rustle another buckaroo’s branded livestock.” Brilliant.

Good story I liked the cowboy, for a moment there I firgured Jane would've hooked up with him.

~SirScott

This is really well written. The whole story flows and the typically western dialect (for lack of a better term) lasso-ed me in. :) You you language very well, dialogue too. I'm not usually into sci-fi but this one really works. Kind of makes me reconsider a lot of girls silly ideas of love and romance.

“Well, excuse me all to hell for being such a lowdown polecat that’d try to rustle another buckaroo’s branded livestock.”
Made me laugh!
Very cute. :)

"Great leapin' buffalos!" LOL. What a great line. :D

Very Nice story, I like it. :)
Talented x
- Kelabelle.

Aww. That's cute.

-Jessica