*GASP*...spiraling down to his doom!?!?!

jk, I know what happens, hahah!

For future reference though, try not to put the word 'this' as the starter of 2 sentences in a row. Otherwise, keep posting!

I bet that'll hurt

Awe the luxuries of knowing you in real life...I know what happens! na-na-na-na-na!

Good Chap, but you might want to go in a clarify a few events, just saying.

Yuk!

Ewe, Carkon vomit...*shudders*

Well I really like the story idea, its really original. There are occasional grammar mistakes here and there but it's overall well-written. I would also suggest that you have a more lengthy prologue, maybe give a little bit more backround to the story? It starts out a little confusing. But I like it so far :P
-Earthbound

Hey Attilee! I read the first chapter of your story and it was really good! I haven't read any more of it yet, but I plan to because the beginning was great. For the most part the writing was good and I think you have an interesting story coming along. Im definitely gonna keep reading this, and id also appreciate it if you'd check out my story if u get a chance.
-earthbound017

three minutes is one long kiss...and wouldn't people be staring? Just saying.

Carkon cares! YAY!

I think I love Westerly. Very interesting dream Jon just had, and the girl with copper brown eyes...hm...

The girl with copper eyes!?! Who is she, some girl from his past, making him faint from his memories? NEED TO KNOW! *spazes*

Like the redo of chap. ;)

Is she his sister?

Carkon's dream(s) are halarious! Post more, please! :)

sounds like zandri might be alright. At least I hope so

I wonder what's happened to Zandri. More please!

This is an interesting story. More please!