I LOVE this story, seriously! It's detailed, well written (bar a few typos here and there) and well thought out...the theories form without realising and i can't wait to see if they match with the ending you've worked up! I love your portrayal of the Hopi too, you've obviously dedicated lots of time into research (unless you're one yourself?) and to answer "rollingby" yes, the hopi are real, and so is the language but it's very heavily guarded.
I usually don't like stories written in first person...i find that most bring out the main character as weak and annoying but it's not het case with Eden. really like her, and i like that she's both strong and weak, both really into Kele but not willing to give into her like for him, that she figures out her freakiness(es) but decides to ignore it, or worse (yes worse!) tries to get rid of it!
it seems that you've built the story up for the reader to assume she's the "one" that Masi was scultping but the plot seems to clever for that...i wonder...update?

well well, Eden is turning out to be quite the enigma! I can't tell if she's depressed or what? and that's a good thing! i love seeing her past...particularly how her relationship with harriet changes...the formation of her disallusionment and the making of the Eden we see everything from. also, great job on the humour...it's subtle and smart and doesn't breaks up the narrative at all, it all flows...brilliant...update soon!

are the hopi real ? and the language?

I like it, I was starting to wonder when she would let on about her uni days... I'm glad things are starting to surface! and don't worry, i need to get out more too... my spazziness is often caused by overabundances of energy drinks mixed with late nights... :S I love the Jack in the beanstalk story: Even if you're a theif, if the guy chases after you and wants to kill you, he's the bad one! lol. Silly Jack. I wants some magic beanss... lol
I hope your next chapter is soon and just as good! It wasn't filler, it gave some idea to her past and also... to her future?? I think. I hope. Keep up the good work!
luffs lea xx

wow i love it, it is such a good story i can't wait to see an update!...which i hope will be soon? haha i love the characters and i can't wait to see more of it all.
luffs lea xx

great story! I love the detail, i love the suspense! i have so many theories formulating in my head as i'm reading and that's really rare to find on FP. Eden is indecisive and broken and yet at the same time she's strong and very careful to keep her boundries, i love the oxymoron.
The progression of the initial unexplainable connection between her and Kele into something flirty, something she really has to try hard to hold back from is beautiful, their conversation is sharp and keeps me gripped.
I liked that you keep character relationshipd progressing even if its only through a small paragraph, for example, your mention of Masi and Yas before we met them through Eden...it really makes the reader see through Eden's eyes.
At the same time, though Eden is oblivious to it, you keep dropping hints (fuelling my theories to no end) and it makes the reader really want tto read te next chapter so well done for that!
Great Description of the cheif. oh my gosh, i could practically hear his voice. really beautiful imagery there. you have to answer this question, t's killing me; when Kele told her that only he'd be looking at her because the cheif attracts attention and she was able to look at kele too. is that becasue of her "freakiness" or becasue of the connection between her and kele?
No, My favourite characters so far? the Elders Tom, Dick and Harry without a doubt! Ho great are there! more of them please! also they are the elders that live next door to her right?
Please update soon! This story deserves a lot more reviews then it's got.

Oh, wow! I really like to learn a lot about different cultures on our Mother Earth. I'm from an ancient but much suffered one myself and so sad that a lot of knowledge's lost to the winds of changing times.

I don't know about your background. But I feel a certain earthly connection to the people in this story you describe. And probably to you for it seems to be too well known for you to be randomly thought out. But even if you're only fantasizing it's still got some salt (the grain of reality/wisdom/real folklore, or what we wish that it were like) in it.

Thank you for this wonderful story! Do write more and a lot :)

i think its really cool how u can be serious wenu want and then get really funny !! its real talent !! amazing

had he seen it too indeed! the story is definitely picking up pace! how exciting!
"the mohawk did have its perks" - best line ever! love the pun and i thought it was great you kept it subtle, like all the humour in this, it's smart and witty.
Update soon! I'm eager to know what exactly this magic Kele has and what his mother's "grace" did to him!

I like this. You have me intrigued. Some words of advice though: watch your spelling and make sure you proof read. "as Harriet was pushed her gently"

I love this story!!
I like the unique idea of it and the detail you put in X)
Please post more soon!
Thanks

wow! What a chapter! First she finally reveals her ability (or her freakiness as she likes to call it) and then we meet Kele! (hottie! - literally :P)
where's nana?
love the line "side effect of my personality". i think it's great as it shows her dry humour and the lack of enthusiasm she has for what she is and i think it's the reluctance she shows that sets the story up in an almost forewarning way...?
If Kele wasn't cute enough, we've got a flashback of Timo! Oh my gosh! I'm in love with your characters! will we be seeing more of him or is it just a cameo?
Lily,
ps...i wonder what's so significant about these connections she's feeling with Kele and Hurit...was she drawn into him enough to trigger the crush or was the crush the reason she was drawn into him?

I love this first chapter!
It sets up the characters and the location so clearly and delicately. Seeing things through Eden's somewhat disenchanted eyes is refreshing becasue despite the difficulty of coming to terms with whatever it is in her that's making her scared (i'm assuming it's her supernatural ability) she see's the rest of the world for what it is, albeit a little rosy. You can tell how much she loves her family, how protective she is over her siblings despite her calm and quiet demenour towards them, and i love how you showed that they can sense it too, even though they are not seeing things through her mind like the reader is.
I'm reading on!