I really like this story, i like how you've made both their names start with "D" though it can get a little confusing in parts. But that's just because i'm new to your characters i suppose.
Anyway, this story has potential so i hope you keep at it!

~Reiki

Alright, I'm gonna be as honest and unbiased as possible here, and remember, overall it's pretty good :)

Ok, so on my little scale of 0 to 10, I would honestly give it around a 4. Not bad yea? So some good news is that you did a good job of not straying from the tense you selected to use :) that's great because that's an issue with me. Also from this little bit, I already know that there is some potential for some decent drama in the story - another awesome plus :)

Ok onto the less awesome side. I think the biggest area for improvement here is the amount of detail/characterization versus the amount of plot-line exposed. The chapter seems to fall right through it's plot like a 100 foot waterfall yea? You don't get to see much detail in water's path when it's just falling. I think/suggest that maybe you should try to guide the water down a stream before letting it cascade only at it's apexes, yea? Basically, we - as an audience - would like to see a more active environment. You know?

That's a good bit to work on if you decide to take the advice. Totally kool if you don't since I mean, you barely know me :) Oh, but if you're thinking about it, I promise you I know what I'm saying :)

I liked it overall ^^ Good ideas!

I like your start. It's a bit rushed in parts, I think you should work a little on building up your scenes, but there's definitle potential here. God though, the bit with his mother hit pretty hard. How could she be so careless as to leave Damien with his alchoholic father like that? Poor little boy...
Looking forward to more.