Hello, i'm, i'm just a dreamer.
i think the name of the story is pretty. i love horses and i hope it turns out to be about horses :)

I like the whole idea but i think you just need to add some descriptive words and slow down your writing.
I didn't like the swaering even though it was a bit funny maybe next time you should just write 'crap'instead :) but that's just because i don't like swearing. :)lol.
um, maybe ask your english teacher to give you some pointers :)
that last review was pretty harsh. :/
bye.

What is this anyway? No offense but your writing skills need to be seriously polished before you post, and PS you don't post a second chapter as a new story... Seriously? How old are you? Twelve?