I've only gotten to the first chapter, cause I have schoolwork to do (Stupid learning.) and so far I think it's pretty good. There were a couple of things I noticed though. The first is that some of the sentences are running on, or not starting/ending in the right places. I would usually give an example to show what I was talking about better, but my mom's getting pissed at me. Anyways, easily fixable. Sometimes, if you just read your chapters aloud, you'll catch way more than you do when you just read it off your screen. I also print mine out and look over it that way.

Also, you use the word 'said' a lot. To give variety, use things like 'replied', 'explained' etc. Or, sometimes, you don't even have to tell the reader who said something. They'll just know by descriptions.

Anyways, I like the story! I'll check out your other stories later, when I have more time! ^.^

Wow, 150 euros is about two hundred ten somethings canadian dollars D:

Good two chapters, but I was too lazy to log in until now, haha. Update soon!
- Christina

the return of... Tyler and Ed! lol. It's strange to say that, my brothers name is Edward :S haha. So, it seems like a good start, and I agree with the whole don;t write it in order, because you WILL forget thing, that happened to a few of my stories, then I gave up, looked back and few weeks later and was like I remember! :) Update soon!
- Christina