I don't think it's lame at all, it's very pretty

I love the quirkyness

I really liked the narration in this one. You combine the strength of the first chapter, and the bitterness of the second and it works really well here.

But again, I want to know more about what happened between them, and why. Also your line: “I will not pick up my pen” felt strange to me, it seems that as a writer you would want to do that. Keep up the good work.

Much love,
Juliet.

Jules, via the Review Marathon (links in my profile)

This piece also felt a little unfinished, but less so then the first one. This chapter also had more going on then the first one.

I liked that the narration was bitter, but I wish you add added more detail to why she was bitter, you can tell that this is a breakup poem, but as a reader I wanted to know more about what went down.

Much love,
Juliet.

Jules, via the Review Marathon (links in my profile)

I like how you alluded to the scene, but didn’t exactly describe it. What really worked well about this was the metaphor that the view (whether it‘s architecturally or natural) is probably not going to change. Which makes it a constant. So in a since you are sending the idea of consistency to this other person.

I didn’t like the length, the piece felt unfinished. Like this was an afterthought of a great piece. Alone it holds very little strength.

Much love,
Juliet.
Jules, via the Review Marathon (links in my profile)

it's sweet.