your rhythm and diction are haunting, creating powerful, evocative imagery. the ending really drives home the sadness.

This poem flows incredibly well. I'm not sure that I can explain it, but there's a quality about this poem that's very ethereal; in fact, by the time the reader reaches the end of the poem, they're left feeling downright moonstruck :P. It's a very beautiful piece, to say the least. :)

so absolutely amazing that the
rootbeer chapstick can't even
claim preeminence as it so obviously
would in a poetry by a lesser artist.

Beautiful. The double-spacing and line breaks took away from the flow (made it seem a bit too structured), but I wouldn't change a thing about the wording. Lovely job.