Wow. This is some powerful writing. Well done to you on a beautifully written piece. Good luck with your assignment

"‘Then they will slit its throat so the blood away from the altar.’ I asked, as if I didn’t already know." You might want to put in a question mark between altar and I asked to make it sound more like a question.

Secondly, you shouldn't put in so much dialogue (unless that is for effect." Add details, how did Athens look? Make a picture in the reader's head!

Hope this helps!