what's most hilarious is getting the
syntax cops on your case, and then i
think the short lines worked well for
hte slow.

Yes, loud and discordant music is ripping my conscious asunder from the room below as I write these words but this piece is strong in many ways, strong enough to break through the hip-hop trash metal avante-garde dadaist heavy whatnot. Yes, I should even say, though perhaps I am insulting you in some wicked way, that it's almost as strong as whiskey(see, see now the diplomatic 'almost'- that's a safety device, that is). The housing complex is fab. The family home as a cold, prison complex where you feel compelled to throw up the trashy dinner of yesterday, where jailers walk about drunk on whiskey or vodka, depending on the continent, and where litter is not so much a common make-up of everyday existence as the very toxic ligament that keeps the whole mess of a nuthouse together. Yes, a family is a bit like one of those stupendous towers of blocks. A little impulse, a whiff or the removal of one block is quite enough to make the whole affair go down with a resounding kaboom! And the plastic hits the fan.

"house/-ing complex"... This is really odd 'cause the actual word is housing so the e isn't the correct spelling, but hous on it's own line doesn't make much sense...

"dreampt/i in knowing"...dreamt and it should be me after dreamt

I liked the piece. I think the short lines worked well for hte slow. I thought the ending was really sad, which I liked. I was wondering when the title was going to make sense... lol. I think the way you set up the scene in the beginning was great though.

PS If you're bored check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (link in my profile).