 Forestwater 2009-09-06 . chapter 1I'm with "my own prince" in that I think you used a bit too much in the way of description -- at least in the beginning. About halfway through you really hit your stride and it flowed much better. This was good and haunting, and I really liked the end, if not so much the beginning. Good job, and I look forward to more from you.
I'm just sad that I've never really had a toy or something that I've had a relationship like this with . . . |
 SarcasmIsPoetry 2009-09-05 . chapter 1wow..this is SO cool..!! |
 my own prince 2009-09-05 . chapter 1I'm at a loss for words at this piece. It's like, I can't decide which side of the spectrum I want to be standing on.
On one side, I feel that it was a bit too descriptive, like you're just chucking details at the readers' face.
One the other side, I love the way you describe things. You don't use the usual adjectives and you use similes and metaphors smoothly - giving us some great imagery.
But damn. Fucking creepy. Hahha. |
 Jackie 2009-09-04 . chapter 1 I story gave me the feeling of helplessness... of course I've been feeling that a lot lately. But everything you love has to leave or change someday, and it usually happens slowly and you can't do anything to stop it... |
 Zelda-hime 2009-09-04 . chapter 1 This reminds me of something from the Anime "Rozen Maiden" (I even listen to the season 1 theme song as I read this).
Very well written and very sad. I hate it when things that are so precious fall apart on us. This could very well describe a real person who is dying.
You have one Ganon's Realm of a gift. ^_^ |