 Kalopsia 2009-09-04 . chapter 1This is such a neat poem. I love the simplicity, something in my own writing too. The small things that you come away from reading this really ring true with me--"That's fine for right now." A shirt. Maybe I'm reading into this too much, but that statement can be about a red shirt or something more or less significant. I thought that the word "lights" was kind of random, and cliche because it was random. It needed a bridge between the two stanzas. Just a one liner, maybe. Great work; would love to read more. |