Wow, very powerful. Briliant way to portray this.

I really like this piece.

This is beautifully written, your descriptions fresh, gorgeous but still realistic.

Jack

"Her eyes like pinholes, small and dangerous." What a unique simile. I like it. :)

"Her pupils dilate into stars." Brilliant line.

"She is a gemstone lady." How delightful.

The theme of starvation here is very powerful. This girl is starved for beauty, affection, a purpose in life, etc. You definitely have a powerful way of examining certain 'touchy' topics. :)

I liked a lot of your word choices. They added color and life into your descriptions. "her pupils dilate into stars and flowers, change color from blue to purple to opal" 'Stars and flowers' here is really effective, particularly with the theme of the poem. And the use of gemstones is meaningful in the context, but it also gives fantastic imagery. :) "slowly shrinking self" The reoccuring 's' sound here is pretty clever, too. It gives more of a poetic feel to the piece.

In the middle of the poem, the phrases and lines started sounding 'stringy'. Maybe it's just me, but I think some of the sentences could be broken up to make the words feel 'cleaner'. I felt a little lost at one point, so I couldn't fully appreciate all the lines.

You're very consistent in this, which I love. All of your imagery was very much tied together because of that.

-Peach/Kate, from the Review Marathon (link's in the profile!)

Gemstone lady - that's really intersting, unusual. I love the line "skin draped over a skeleton." very good work here.

"her eyes like pinholes, small and dangerous/for sewing machines".. I don't get this... how are pinholes dangerous for sewing machines? That comparison just seemed odd.

Eyes have been written about so much in poetry, but I don't think I've ever seen a piece with so much about one person's eyes. And none of the images were cliched before. So, I really liked the whole eye thing.

The rest of the piece is great too. I especially love the ending. It's so beautifully sad. Great piece.

PS If you're bored check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (link in my profile).

I like ho you continually went back the notion of starvation. Being starved of food (though she‘s never hungry, or so she says…) starved of beauty (both physical, and through the Jem stones).

I find your title fascinating. It makes me think that to be girlish is to always be weak and wanting, and I don’t know if I like that image as a whole. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you’re bashing women kind, quite the opposite actually. I think whoever inspired this piece is getting a bit of a bash. It makes me sad, but I enjoyed the read. Keep up the good work.

Much love,
Juliet.

Jules, via the Review Marathon (links in my profile)