|Reviews for How He Killed Me|
| tyizzadyhe 3/28/10 . chapter 1
I really enjoyed reading this story, and I found the plot to be very intriguing.
The only thing is that I think it should be a bit longer and possibly with multiple chapters. I just feel like there should have been more back story before the climax. For instance; Miguel is introduced for the first time in the climax, when the story should be moving at its fastest, and because of this I was left wondering who Miguel was in the first place. Also I think more details should have been given on Melindah's parents' deaths before the climax as well, Josh Hendersen should at least be mentioned before his identity is revealed.
Also, right after the gunshot goes off, I found it very jarring that Melindah stops to make a side note about her being sarcastic; it would have been better to mention this beforehand so that it doesn't bog down the climax unnecessarily.
I also felt like the scene where the gunshots go off was a bit unclear, and I found myself reading over it at least three times before I could sort out what happened. Maybe I'm just a bit slow xD
I also found a few details to be a bit unrealistic, like the fact that Garrett has been wearing a blonde wig for at least three years straight, and that Melindah never noticed his eyebrows were fake before. A more believable explanation would be that his hair was dyed and a blood sample was taken to prove his identity.
I'm being really nitpicky here, and you certainly don't have to take my advice, but these are just a few things I picked up on while reading your story. It's still good and certainly sad, but your writing style is too good to let errors like these deter potential readers.
Thanks for the story, it's nice seeing some quality fiction on the internet :D
| morbidlybubbly 9/10/09 . chapter 1
oh my goodness
This actually stabbed my heart, her anger is so sad, its depressing
but oh so good :D keep going
| forkthatwaffle 9/5/09 . chapter 1
(my emotions in order)
Okay...basically i thought that this was GREAT i absolutely luve the whole tragic death love story theme Though it caught me by surprise(that he was the criminal who killed her parents) BUT, i luved it too...I felt bad for him...and Melindah...she finally found someone then...*gasp* but i actually thought that the whole killing herself was a good ending (hence the *satisfied*) Oh, and i like how u spelled her name..Melindah Haha...sri for the super LONG review...