Looks like D has a complicated history. I assume that this will be relevant to the story later on?

Anyway, I like how your characters have depth to them. Each has his/her own "issues" to deal with (excluding Ellie and Tres...unless I missed something or you haven't written that far yet).

(P.S. This is one of the best stories I've read. It honestly deserves more reviews!)

Love the lightheartedness and humor! Keep it up!

It's your favorite chapter so far, and mine as well.

I loved Kiros's little argument with Ms. Valentine. I'm not gonna lie, I read that interchange about four times.

And the foreshadowing with game theory was... creative. I'd never have thought of something like that. Then again, foreshadowing was always one of my weak points. Clearly, it's not one of yours.

Sorry it took me so long to get back to this. I've been very busy with some writing of my own that I've been doing.

When I logged onto Fictionpress, I never had any real intent to read anything. I just wanted to check up on my Reader Traffic. However, I decided to take a stroll through the mystery section. I clicked on your story, and within the first paragraph, I was hooked. I really enjoy your writing style, and the characters are very distinct and likable. I really like where the story is going.

This chapter made me happy :) If your author's note foreshadows, I guess we won't be seeing anything this lighthearted in the future. Nevertheless, I can't wait to know what Lediv has up his sleeve!

Sorry for my lack of a decent review this time, but...
Have a happy Halloween!

(PS: You first published this story on my birthday. =D Sorry, I didn't really notice that before. Or, if I did, I forgot. =))

Awesome story dude. Keep it up!

You know what? Before reading this story, I had no idea what Go was, let alone how to play it. But I thought I'd seen it before, so I looked it up on Wikipedia, read the rules, and thought, "Huh, I think I've played this before..." Which was true, but I had no idea how on Earth you were supposed to win. XD (I ended up playing it on Coolmath--a website they actually allow us on in our unfairly restrictive school district--and finally figured out how to win against the computer. =)(And now I'm a little hooked on it. But the computer players got boring. The only one I haven't played against is incredibly slow...))

Anyways... Just because it isn't exciting doesn't mean it isn't boring. It just means nothing with extreme action happened.

(But in this kind of story, it is especially difficult to provoke action such as that without making the character with such power--in this case, Lediv (or "Ledvi" as I constantly saw his name written (it's kinda cute))--go entirely insane and go into a killing rampage in which he ends up single-handedly(sp?) causing themselves to become the last person on the planet. However, that's never really a fun story. It's just gory, violent, and all together boring to read. I can only imagine something like that becoming a story filled to the brim with "and then Lediv killed him"s and "'Begone!' he shouted. Just like that, -insertvictim'sname/occupationhere- died"s.)

All in all... I just want to know what happens next. XD

PS: I talk kinda like Kiros... I don't see what's strange about it other than he exhibits his large vocabulary. o.O When Mimi asks him why he doesn't speak like a 'normal' person, I truly understood why people send me strange looks when I speak. (Or, and this has happened before, tell me I'm a living dictionary. =/ I don't think I am, but I have built up a large stack a words and meanings in my subconsciousness. Writing tends to do that to you, I suppose.)

PS2: (*pokes "PS2" haha... Sorry.) This is a long review. ^.^' I think I'll stop now.

Well, if we're going for names of operatic heroines, perhaps Lulu would have been the better choice, given how the Deadly Airhead Femme seems to be portrayed. ;)

Either way, this was a fantastic chapter. The rules I like. It seems to put a limit on the immense power Lediv now wields. If he had been able to control anyone, at any time, indefinitely, it would be very difficult to stop him once things got out of control (as they undoubtedly will). Putting some limitations on it is something 90% of the writers on this site would never even think of.

And then Kiros's backstory adds a whole new layer to his character. Just when I thought I had him figured out...

Of course, the trouble is, these are PEOPLE, not mere characters. Damn you. Just when I was beginning to think *I* was good at dreaming up characters...

Having read Kiros' chapter and then returned to Lediv, I must say that Iike the contrast between the two.

While they're both brilliant, Lediv is absolutely analytical, and logic is his guiding light. Any Vulcan worth his ears would be proud.

Kiros, on the other hand, seems far more emotional. He has the same dizzying intellect and he feels the same boredom with the the rigamarole of everyday life and acquiescing to the demands of the world. However, he also seems to have... well, he has a heart as well as a brain.

Am I close at all to what you've envisioned them as, or am I way off and shooting in the dark?

Hehe, editing. I've heard of that. Never done it...

Anyway, this is genuinely amazing. I'm fairly convinced that you could turn this into a novel of New York Times Bestseller proportions if you wanted to. And I assume that IS your plan, provided it receives a good response on FP. Isn't that all of our plans when it comes to our little masterpieces?

I'll try to finish up what you've got posted so far, but I can't guarantee anything. I have to get up obscenely early tomorrow, and if I can't get through the next chapter pretty quickly, I'll have to call it a night.

Oh. My god.

Well, that's not creepy AT ALL...

But I like it!

Meh, I once read a story where the first chapter alone was fifty pages. This is barely a baby in comparison. ;)

This is really amazing. I really enjoy Lediv's characterization. He's not your typical smart-guy character. He's not Artemis Fowl. He's got some serious issues, and his thoughts are at the same time so alien and so similar to the average reader's, it makes him relatable and unique at the same time.

Hm. Well, I gotta admit, the summary was so intriguing, I figured the story just HAD to be a disappointment.

You proved me wrong though. The dialogue flows well (and that's something I've noticed a LOT of people have trouble with), the interaction is logical, and the storyline, such as it is at this point, is already fast-paced and intriguing.