| Reviews for I Never Will |
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kloun mannequin 9/8/09 . chapter 1I like the emotions in this,they're strong, makes this story heartfelt. |
garishsun 9/8/09 . chapter 1I loved the way you embraced the description of the twitching fingers, and such. I also liked the style you wrote it in, with the italics and then the next line normal, and that the pattern repeated, creating a flow. The last sentence was very resounding. I noticed that you did not capitalize the beginning word of every sentence. In the sentence: ..."he,that's not what he did." I believe you should put three periods instesatd of commas there. Also, there should be a comma between just because he seemed nice.' and 'just because he wanted my autograph...', ,instead of a period. And when 'the f*ing piano attracted him', you should include 'I *ing attracted him'. Overall, the eerie, dramatic effect was created. |