I really like this poem. It sounds like you're actually talking to someone, and it sort of reminds me of something that would be in a movie, or a dark book, like Lord of the Rings or something. The flow is nice and word usage is precise and fluid. I love it.

Love it! So simple, and yet seems to possess so much meaning.
Very thought provoking!

I love the rhythm! It just flows when you read it out loud. Very very musical. And dark too.

It reminds me of dark chocolate. That bitter but good taste (in this case feeling) You tell such a story in a short while. It conveys lots of emotions. Is this some Aussie form of poetry? (sorry I couldn't help but notice you're from down-under!

Oh, I REALLY like this. It's quite lovely and dark.
Kind of reminds me of that little part inside that's a tiny bit crazy. The part that makes me want to lock the doors of any car I'm in so that I don't open them while it's going, you know?

I don't really get it in relation to your summary. I thought phrases were supposed to be repeated?

Anyway, I did like the piece. I think it was an interesting idea. I especially liked the idea of negative energy, it's ambiguous, but really works. I also liked your word choice with languish and blazing. The only thing is the third and fourth lines just seemed kinda prosey. It also seemed like unnecessary description. Ohter than that nicely done.

PS If you're bored this weekend check out the Review Game and/or the Review Marathon (links in my profile).

This is good... I had to read a couple of times to figured it out lol but now that I did I like it ;)

Keep it up!
=]

Hmm... I really wish I would stick to a form like you do sometimes! But, alas, I'm all free verse. haha But anyway, I like this. I'm not sure what I'd say it was about but perhaps a yearning in the heart or mind that can't be released? Or maybe I'm just weird. But there's my interpretation! :)

Anna

I like the word 'languish'. :)
This poem seems a case of curiosity killed the cat. :)
Brilliant.

Wow o.o cool! :D

It kind of reminds me of Neverwhere :)

This was very well written, excellent job. Do keep writing as well. Keep it Up!

Wow.
OMG.
I love it!

That was deep, no joke. It made me think of hope, I guess. KEEP IT UP!

~Little Miss Culen Cutie~

Concise, yet eloquent. Love it!

=)
CL