 becky4freedm 2009-11-22 . chapter 1the cowboy sounds really cute!
like it a lot |
 Cuenta 2009-10-26 . chapter 1The details and imagery in this piece were captivating. I can see what's happening. Also, I like the flow and sentence structure (there were a few run-ons, but I think it's your intention for the piece.) To me, it's simple but effective, which I like.
I would love to read more of the stories you got planned when you're able to. It definitely sounds promising. :-) |
 infinitemasquerade 2009-10-16 . chapter 1I do love this. You have a knack for capturing attitudes, like with the line "They only had a mind for the blood pumping in their veins..."
My only real critique is with the first sentence, which has some major syntax issues. Though I'm not sure if it's technically a run-on, it still flows like one, and doesn't grab my attention much. Still, the rest of this is pretty awesome. Keep up the good work! |
 TheSheTiger 2009-09-20 . chapter 1This was good. Short, but still a lot to say in very little space. Actually for me, a good thing, as I tend to get glassy-eyed over long, long chapters unless they are very interesting to me.
Not bad at all! |
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