now this is something special. the deep contrasts between the protagonist and her lover is truly spectacular and the descriptions add such a beautiful touch to this piece.

i would love opinions from a talented writer like yourself on my work, it would mean a lot to me!

"my fingertips worn

with regret and impatience."

These lines were absolutely spectacular!

Your work that I've read so far is all so simple but so beautiful and full of emotion and meaning. Amazing!

nice contrasts and details

the second stanza is my favorite

the third one is good too;

the imagery is 'dirty'

(is that slang where you live too?)

wow, the way you described everything was perfect.

i loved the third stanza the best, and the idea of a such a safe place in his ribcage. but, i have a thing for bones in poetry :)

and, on your profile page? reading the poetry of a pothead? aha, i think we write the best poetry!

This reminds me of looking at the night sky with my exboyfriend.

-Jessica

great portraying of the emotion.

nice job.

yours until the wind changes,

gg

now that is certainly a spectacular piece of writing. needless to say that is was heartfelt ad genuine. i applaud you for being able to do what many could not. you've managed to interpret the secret breathings of your heart and capture them on paper. you should be proud.