"your soft
coos, sighs.
i open my eyes
and you are there
near me."

This opening has such a lovely flow to it. The sighs/eyes rhyming is beautiful - as if a sigh is akin to a flutter of the eyes. :)

exquisite!

I love your flow of words. Lyrical and excellent. The kind of literature that makes me think this generation may have hope after all.

Aussi, tu dois crois tu peux mouche, ma fil ami. :)

I really loved this one. :) It's beautiful. Wonderful job.

"My life seems to fit in one, rusty tin box." I really like this line--it's so avant-garde for some reason. :)

"I will end up in a box one day. I know this." I could literally feel my heart contract when I read this line--that's how deeply emotional it is. Wow. :)

"A dead person can't love." An interesting ending. I guess that depends on whether or not you believe in an 'afterlife' and whether or not you believe that love can 'live on' after death.

...everytime i read this... i fall more and more in love with it!

i'm so glad you're writing again natalie.

this project is beautiful so far.
it really is.

Wow... this is pure brilliance.

"My insides taste of nothingness." My God. This line is other-worldly. It's beyond phenomenal.

"And my insides taste of all." Excellent ending. You tie the piece together well with this new sense of 'becoming.'

I truly enjoyed reading this one.

Really? Roses and mustard gas? I know it didn't say that exactly in the description, but it did in summary.

If it were me, I would not use that description. I know Kurt Vonnegut does not own it, but I'm sure you can come up with something of your own that will work just as well.

love the last line. it wraps everything together.

i like this a lot, natalie... even though i'm not quite sure what it means.

i'll read it again at home when it's not loud like my music theory class is.

"Every morning, birds." I love this opening line--it's simple, yet deeply moving.

"Their wings desperately reaching for each other." Wow. That's pretty powerful. I love the idea that we're all just trying to grasp onto something (i.e. we're all just trying to save each other).

"The scent of roses and mustard." Vivid. I like that you mixed colour imagery with olfactory sensation.

"I feel the slight pulsation of my veins." Interesting. I like those moments when you can hear your heartbeat and such--it makes you humble.

"Those tall, unmoving giants." Wow. This is really avant-garde and modern--you're breaking boundaries here! :)

"The animals with the bones, the curved bodies, the cautious eyes." This part of the poem is very well-written. The descriptions here are memorable and strong.

"Teach me how to fly, bird." Excellent ending. :)

i love this, natty. it's beautiful.

ops! i thought this name's piece was let's be astronauts!