"Without the easy smile." This little glimpse into Mr. Wilson's true nature added such depth to the piece.

"We slipped into a state of controlled panic." Excellent description--it's very 'real,' so-to-speak.

"Knock down the colour barrier." I like that you used 'war diction' (i.e. knock down) and tied it into race as well--that's pretty crafty of you. :)

"We all bleed the same colour." It's funny that 'red blood' is a synonym here for 'human' or 'equals;' that's fascinating!

"Or your Klan brothers might think you stink like a nigger." Hard-hitting. Powerful. Intense. Raw.

I like your knack for describing a situation and setting without over describing it, if that makes any sense. You have good diction too, always picking particularly powerful or well said words/verbs. And great issues that are presented realistically and get me thinking. :)


Minor typo, isn't it percent...not per cent. I always second guess spelling (especially my own)but I thought I'd point it out.

Well done. An enticing tale that really makes the reader feel as if he or she is part of the story. You took a sensitive topic and addressed it in a fair approach that I am sure will satisfy all readers.

I love how you write these, you make the reader feel a part of it all. And you are good at including the historical element you want and teaching people something at the same time hat still feels contemporary :)

This reminded me of bits of MASH episodes. Those scences when they've all had a tough day in the OR and just want it to be over but it keeps coming. Or when Hawkeye stands up for the Koereans (and treats them) and Frank yells at him for it. Yeah, improving human relations amen to that!

You make a point to use the word Negro in the first part of the narrative and in the later part you use the modern term African American.
"Lyle explained that in the 1860s Congress had wanted to honor African-Americans’ service in the Civil War."
Which struck me as out of place for a period piece.
I agree that everyone should have to work for their piece of the American pie. The American Indian is owed something, after all, we stole their land. The sex impulse will breed out most of the racial divides in America. Nearly all of us have mixed blood anyway.
The Korean War was a break through in the race barrier and is the second most forgotten war in American history -- the Spanish American War being the most.
Overall, this piece was well written and handled a touchy issue with open honesty.
~SirScott

Lovely. I love the story telling in this and then the moralistic but real sounding ending. It's not forced and seems perfectly approppriate. :) And i always like how i learn something new when i read your work! :)

i don't know much about the american history, but i've taken many slavery topics for english. i almost know the 'i have a dream' speech by heart, and i've read other similar literature pieces that is about racial discrimination enough to say i know something about it but still, the experience behind those words is rich, and i could tell you've seen a lot.
this felt so real i wonder if there was a matt wilson and lyle ranklin. i took a like to lyle, and was kinda sad when he died. and i think wilson was just being over-defensive, thinking that everybody was seeing him as the black guy/the slave. this was really moving, and i loved the ending. it was somehow satisfying...