Your imagery actually provoked a physical reaction form me in that first stanza, I have a morbid disgust of eyeballs not inside a skull. Gross! But also strangely alluring, I love the word "lolling" here. Like they're kind of lazily flopping around, knowing they're getting a reaction without really having to put much effort into it.

You know, the line "white is the elephant in the room" I almost feel is misplaced where it is now. Something about the snappiness of it feels wrong specifically there.

As usual though you captivate the reader almost demandingly (and I mean this with respect/admiration) with your story, and the final stanza made me smile.

Jack

I'll admit that I haven't read Moby Dick yet, but heard a lot about it, especially the themes. I thought you did a great job conveying those themes in this poem. I like the last stanza - great imagery.

I love your metaphors so much. You describe the world wonderfully.

I want to suck your
off-white teeth dry,

Love that line.

I do believe you've outdone yourself. :)

The entire first stanza I love. The somewhat cringe-worthy, quirky descriptions give the piece a particular flair. It's all very creative, very much your own.

In the second stanza, "knuckles curling like ringlets around my hand" is fantastic. Your word choice for "curling" is a lovely way to put it. (The line also comes right after you mention the sounds, the "crackle" of the rock against the speaker's rings. Word choice for "crackle": also lovely. Descriptive and accurate.)

"I want to suck your off-white teeth dry." I especially like "off" in that line. It's more specific.

"White is the elephant in the room, unavoidable." What I like best about that line is the tone. It's a little cheeky, rather clever. Plus, this is where you begin a more direct approach to your "brief, and slightly tangled history of white". The change is refreshing; adds more interest to the piece.

My only suggestion to this is maybe some line re-arrangement. Some of the phrases could be 'cut' differently, to be clearer.

Wonderful work. :D

"Lolling across the countertop." LOLLING ACROSS THE COUNTERTOP? Good God! That's fantastic! I absolutely love the 'eyeball' imagery in the opening of this poem--it's so morbid and captivating.

"I want to see the white light in your eyes." Oh wow. There's something deeply moving and profound about this line--it's rather spiritual.

"I want to suck your off-white teeth dry." Vivid. Creative. Intense.

"White is the elephant in the room, unavoidable." What a masterful line!

"An afternoon of imperial sun detonates like a slosh of kismet." That's literally one of the best similes I've ever read. Bar none.

"Those gulls, kelp and baleen swelling." Brilliant diction.

(The Review Game - Poems - Easy Fix)