very cute and has an unexpected twist!

Oh, my. This is well written. I especially like the dialogue - I can actually hear Blue Duck and George talking. Great twist at the end. The only disappointment I have is that it was short. It just feels like it could be expanded on, but this was a clever and intriguing piece.

--*--

Correction:

{"Well sure," said George,} I think there should be a comma after "Well."

This has a very interesting progression to it. I like how it makes the reader think and interpret. Well written. MD:77.

What I mainly get from this is that time makes things seem less important. Less terrible or striking or real. The two boys are talking about their heritage and history and don't think much of it.

"His flat feet crushed the dandelions" The line sticks out to me for some reason. I don't know, it adds to his flippant attitude.

:)

Wow this is really well written. I like the sarcastic tone in the story, yet it radiates truth. Nicely done.

This is intresting view of culture and history. Is this a one-shot or a condinutation? :)

Haha, this really is quite hilarious but what stands out is the natural dialogs that really are a marvel of their own. Really put a smile on my face and also makes you wonder about the nature of allegiance, race and all that stuff that makes us ravage, kill and rape. A+ indeed.

Haha, this is great. I don't know a lot of people who have really shown great skill at dialogue, but you definitely have talent!

I love "honeycomb eyes" as someone else said. This is just really great, so clever and unique.

It's disturbing the games young boys find fun. Especially what George's father evidently taught George what to do. A simpler style of writing, but still poignant in its own way. :) Keep writing!

I like "honeycomb-eyes." And your irony of Indian kids playing cowboys is subtly implied, But the piece is too brief and slanted toward the fasionable "White exploitation of non-Whites" cliche. The generic "Indian" makes it harder to empathize than if you had cited a specific tribe or community.

This piece reminded me a bit of Sherman Alexi (who is an Indian Poet) you should check his stuff out if you haven't already.

I think you did a good job at displaying the casual way that these two 'indians' through around their heritate. Almost making light of rape and murder. I think in a since you meant to convey to the reader that these two do not understand the meaning of those words, or actions, they view it from a distance without understanding. Keep up the good work.

Much love,
Juliet.

i've got a demented little smile on my face right now,
my soul is cringing a bit, but my face is smiling
A+

Great!