"Are you afraid? Of being forgotten. Of being quiet. Of being trapped. Yes." I found this part of the piece very genuine and interesting.

"I am seven years old and I am watching my father touch himself." I swear to God, that has to be one of the most impactful lines I've ever read - it's brilliant. Plus, the "our eyes lock" part just made this whole masturbation scene that much more intense.

"I made it when we first made love." Jesus. He's talking to his daughter. That's ridiculous. But, that does make this scene EPIC and wonderful to read. I'm quite captivated. I also really love the way in which you focus on the father's hands - connecting his musical capability to his sexual skills.

Is this a disturbing piece? Yes. Do I want to read more? Yes. It's morbid, yet terribly fascinating. Please keep writing. :)

horrible, beautiful reality. i love it.

A dark and dysfunctional mood that is beautiful to read. The images you create are powerful. It's disturbing that this whole story centers around sex, and that the lines between her father and this stranger are blurred. Like she doesn't understand the differences in love or how to express them. V. interesting, I hope you continue with it.

-
DSx

Wow. The last sentence there,
"What is it? Please, someone. Help me know."
Up until then, it's like she doesn't care that she's alone. Now we know she's lonely and perhaps afraid.

Okay, I know I'm slow, but it seems that each chapter holds a certain theme. The last one, for example, was a little sympathetic, romantic. This one's just hard, and lust-filled. It takes my breath away.

This story is so weird, I really like it! I can't really comment on everything I like, but just know that I love the dark aspects of the girl and her father's relationship, and her attraction to someone "beautiful." Coz, I don't think we know for sure whether he is actually beautiful or just beautiful to her.

By the way, will we ever learn her name?

Update soon. :)
love.

This is so inexplicably captivating.
I'm falling more and more in love with it
by the chapter. I love how confusing it is,
how it is wrong and beautiful all at once.
You evoke great sympathy from me as a reader
toward her father, who otherwise would have
been automatically despised and condemned.

I'm hooked.

A very haunting story indeed. I'm looking forward to more.

"I hear the faint sound of a grown man sobbing." Holy cow. I'm serious, I can't take much more of these lines today - they're just TOO raw and TOO hard-hitting. I love it, though, I really do.

"I'm jealous of the way the stars gather." What a dear heart the speaker is.

"There is nothing more powerful than the silence." Agreed.

"I have a voice. It is my violin." Mind-blowing!

This story is absolutely incredible. I'm not kidding. :D

"It is a commonly known fact that my father is a lecher.
Everyone knows about those hands and how they probe and fondle and touch little girls." OH MY GOD! This is FANTASTIC writing. This is like something straight out of a horror novel masterpiece - bravo! :D

"This is why I tell no one of the hands that touch the flush of my youth in the dark." The fact that the father is a cripple is just brilliant. I don't know where the idea for this story came from, but beg that Muse to come again, 'cause the writing here is skilled and impactful.

"I am the woman trapped by the fear born out of love and adoration." What a powerful line!

"I have lost my name." This is truly a phenomenal opening line - it's brilliant. :D

Wow. It's totally amazing. I just love how... I feel everything. I mean, I don't just feel the story, but I feel the words you use. It's awesome how one can relate to the feelings described, but the entire thing is just haunting. Absolutely amazing!

Good job!

~writingpistachio

Your writing has matured quite a bit. It feels different to me, like you are not only "describing" but.. I don't know, making us readers actually feel your words.
Hope to see an update soon

What you've written is entirely beautiful, it's riveting and confusingly understandable.
I love the character all ready!
I can't wait for the next!

I would say this is very good, and so powerful and that it touches something deep inside all of us--but that has been said and to say it once more would be redundant. Even if I did already say it.

I can't see any wrong with this, so I'll tell you what I like and admire about it. I like the way you describe the father as a broken man. I like the way you put in the dialogue, no quotations. This story is like a bad dream, a dream that has captured you and won't let go. I like that, because it is beautiful and it's true.

(It's amazing, too, that you got me to speak in poetry after reading your words.)

This is quite an interesting and intriguing concept of a story you have. Can't wait to read more.!.