:O I really liked this!

x3 I have to agree with the other reviews , Howver , I got lost a few times.

I really liked this story. The only thing about it that confused me was the dialogue. Maybe do it in Italics next time, I think that would help, if you're not going to use quotations, that is. But I liked it. Heard about it from SKoW and I'm glad I did ^_^

Hey! :D Saw you advertisement at SKOW, so here I am :)

I like the idea A LOT, i don't know, it felt very... surreal :) and it grabbed me from the beginning. I wanted it to continue, though. I feel like it's not finished. I wanted Thought to cross over to where Pain was calling him and end up in the "real" world. I wanted to see how the siblings interacted in our world being pure selves as they are (as in, Emotion only feels, doesn't rationalize; Knowledge knows, but doesn't act upon it, etc etc). I think you should consider making it a longer story if you have time :)

Oh! And, in the story, there some places where you used the characters Thought, Knowledge, etc etc but didn't capitalize the first letter, which made it a little confusing. You may also want to consider doing the standard dialogue quotations to make clear when the characters are talking.

Anyway, this is getting long. In a nutshell: really liked it; continue it if you can.

Cookies and Ice Cream,

SparklingA :D

The idea of this story is really unique and just so creative that I couldn't stop smiling (as weird as that sounds...). The characters/embodiments have really good characterization and you did a good good with describing how each one's perspective is different. The only thing I have a problem with is things that can be fixed with editing. Grammar, puncutaion, spelling, the sort. But XxShokixX already listed off those small spots, so you're good. Just some editing.

I usually don't like reviewing so early in the story 'cause I can't give a full opinion 'cause the plot is only just beginning and so on and so forth, but I saw your Ad on the SKoW Yahoo! Group. This idea is truly amazing and I can't wait to see how it turns out =))

-3DL3-

Ooh, I liked this, the idea is really original and creative, though I did have a couple of problems with it.
At the start you never capitalized "Thought."
And my second problem is that it was hard to tell who was actually speaking due to no " mark's, so it was hard for me to tell whether you were describing something or whether it was one of the characters speaking.
I think that if you edit this story, and fix up those little mistakes it could get far.
Keep up the good work ^^