I loved how you described penury/poverty as magical, in the same vein as poetry. It's odd because we as a species invented both, and they're usually thought of as mutually exclusive of each other but to pair them is interesting.

I feel this piece is very primal, the lack of specific structure or noticeable rhymes bolsters this. It just...is. It's like you haven't built anything, you're just showing the reader the raw materials and whispering instructions in a foreign language. The images you present are as always, unique and precise.

Jack

"This serenading of soft sisters." How sweetly alliterative.

"Older then." 'Then' should be 'than.'

"Wood smoke tastes." I love this line - it reminds me of the smell of autumn.

"The languid-luster of girl-flesh." This line is quite delectable.

Love love love the imagery. Every line just jumped straight off the page. I especially loved the line about your eyes turning into seashells and kissing them to taste the sea. That was beautiful.
There were a few grammar mistakes...a few places where you said "then" when it should be "than" (ex.It’s an older magic then language) and one place where you said you're and it should've been your. (There are glittering pearls where you’re fingernails used to be,)
I adore the poem, while there are some minor mistakes, the language, syntax, imagery, everything is just amazing. Lovely job (:

Just to let you know, "then" (in the summary and in the poem) should be "than."

Overall, a very good poem. Captivating imagery. :-)

I get a really strong sense of metamorphosis from this piece. It seems to comment on the nature of growing up, or at least looking back towards the past and reflecting on the changes. For me, it really personified the experience of accepting adulthood, but then it's nearly 4am and maybe I'm reading it backwards.

I loved your descriptions, particularity the line

'my eyelids
have morphed into seashells,
when you kiss them you can taste the ocean,
hear the battering scuttle of a girl who never learned to run.'

That was what really got me, I think. I also think I'll always be jealous of your vocabulary, but that's neither here nor there.

Amazing work, as always.

Peace, Daze

I enjoyed the marine imagery in the fifth stanza. This piece seems a tad short, it's seems to have fizzled just as it was making it's impression upon the reader.

I'm curious as to the significance of "Mcgilvra," though it does seem unimportant to the poem itself, I can't help but feel i'm missing something.

Keep up the good work!