I like this. I like how every sentence has so much more meaning than at first. I really like the way you describe the littlest things without seemingly so much as a thought, it comes so naturally ex. "your intangible world". The way you write, the words you choose are very poetically fitting, like " so here we forcefully liberate ourselves from each other"; liberate, wow.

It's sad and clearly written, everything put into perspective. Your writing is very original and strong. :)

Your writing is phenomenal. Keep up the awesome work. :)

Wow. The first line is wonderful! I love it, the picture it inspires.. So poetic, artistic and mind-blowing, in a way.

The first stanza’s saddening. It reminds me of Grease, too... It causes me to wonder- what happened in the relationship (or lack thereof) that means you need to move on from your pillow of rested past memory. (I can’t tell/decide if that last line is meant to be a good or bad thing-perhaps because it was both...?)

The second stanza’s powerful... a shield of mystery to their soul... hiding their inner strength for two... (or perhaps that’s the reflection from you?). Hurrm.. Immorality, and an devastating intangible world? You paint quite a confliction.

I love the third stanza. It sounds like something from a romance story. ] Like Romeo and Juliet with the concealment.

Not fully liberated from one another if you’re in their pocket, hmm? p The rest- quite a selfless act and a caring of goodness for the other that’s quite beautiful.

Over-all: This is quite beautiful, with a wonderful choice of wording and description. I like it very much. You have a brilliant mind. And the overall message is great, in a bittersweet way that lingers between positives and negatives… Lol.

this is very lovely.

and really exact.

i love how detailed you get.

how close into context you really get

:D

i look forward to more soon

First of all, many thanks for the review. I do in fact remember you from a long time past, so I'll thank you for those reviews as well.

From what I can remember, you've definitely grown. This poem was wonderful, to read and experience. The wording was excellent and the images were well-crafted. I especially loved: "And has to end is evidently devastating every inch of your intangible world".

All in all, great work.

"The knowledge that we cannot experience the peak of summer's warmth together." How tragic and heart-breaking.

"I'll have to pretend that I've moved on from your tenderness." Oh wow. This line is so emotionally raw.

"The roaming souls." Beautiful!

I like this, it's very descriptive, like the narrator wants to make herself clear beyond a shadow of a doubt. You also use some beautiful phrases which made reading this quite pleasurable. It was bittersweet, and I dig it.

Peace, Daze

"And as I remove the tinted glasses from your precious face

So that I can emotionally undress you through clear eye contact,

I can view you attempting to be strong for the both of us,"

Beautiful.

"So here we forcefully liberate ourselves from each other as I slip into your pocket

The glasses and one final memo that says "If there's ever a day when being selfish

Becomes acceptable and you're dancing alone in complete darkness, I hope you

Resist pushing me away if I took you in my arms to show where the afterglow dwells""

Also beautiful.

Of course, the whole poem was beautiful, for lack of a better word. I loved it. And your structure is very good. Easy to read, easy to follow along. Great piece!

My favorite line is:

"However, the thought that our relationship is soaked with immorality

And has to end is evidently devastating every inch of your intangible world"

HEART that. :) Keep writing! And thanks for reviewing my most current song! Hugs!

Very well written! Is this based on anything? Nice work!

Little Miss Cullen Cutie

Personally, I think it has to many words for a poem. It's 1/2 poem and 1/2 ballad. It's very descriptive but it tells a story that doesn't go anywhere. I'm just telling you what I think.