William Shakespeare?! Seriously! Uhh, anyway, nice chapters these last two were. Shakespeare, wow. Okay, I'm getting distracted again. But this was lovely really. The only thing I was wondering...did you happen to mean Napoleon Bonaparte in this last chapter?

All in all a clever little story from a smart little girl. Keep up the good work and looking forward to the outcome.

Hopefully you are open to critical feedback as all of what I say is to help.

"wizard freak in LA" (I think you should be more careful as this may offend some readers. After all, "freaks" after all or people that seem different than you reside all over.

What does "grandmotherly" mean. Maybe this word should be replaced with one that describes the the part of the a grandmother's trait that you are trying to convey.

You are the writer, but I've always found "blonde" connotations to be offensive (being that I am a natural blonde)

On this page, there is a spelling error. I think you meant to write tough, but it is spelled "though".

Also, to a wider audience, it may not seem rude to ask someone their age. I got hung up here a little, because I didn't think it was rude to ask.

My goodness, I love when Merlin was using Shakespearean language! ...Anyway, Sam asking Julie where to find Merlin was so hilarious. "Wonderful, beautiful Julie." Sam and Lucy arguing was great as well. Oh, and the part about Merlin's truck was quite interesting. Well, enough of my rambling; I'll be looking forward to the next chapter!

Very good!I love vampire stories, so I thought I'd check it out. Very interesting! It combines my love of vampires with my love of magic.

The only commect that I have it that the chapters are rather short, but I understand that sometimes writers just want to post chapters quickly, so they can't make the chapters very long. Few spelling and grammer errors, and that is impressive. It seems as though most people these days are simply too lazy to use Spell-Check!

I will keep on a lookout for more chapters! Update soon!

Nice first chapter :) I enjoyed reading it. When I think of fictionpress I usually think of people who cannot write very well and rush far too much without giving an okay discription of what is happening, that isn't the case with you :D You told what was happening very well, I'm impressed. You could even add a little bit more discription of what is happening but thats the only critisiom I have. Great job :) Update soon.

I thought this was very good for a young author. I'll be waiting for the next chapter.

Did you really write this? It's sophisticated for someone your age.

I can't really judge the story until I read the whole thing. How many chapters will it be?

Your descriptions of your characters' emotional states are vivid and paint a good picture, i.e., "she looked like she would vomit..."

My only real suggestion at this point is to maybe work on condensing the story. For example, going back and forth to ask Julie where Merlin lives could be done instead in one conversation I think. And the girls asking people where Main St. is seems to sort of detract from the real story.

So far, so good. Keep it up.

Can't wait for more to be written!

It's me again - reviewing my own story:) I just wanted to thank everyone that's reviewed it, and chapter four is coming soon (boy, I really am churning out the chapters!).

Ah, so this is where things start to get interesting. Lucy admitting to being a "half-vampire," some mysterious man named Merlin...yep, definitely interesting. Plus, it's so hilarious when Julie shows up unexpectedly. Well, I'm looking forward to seeing how this all plays out!

Really good! I don't read vampire stories, but this one has me questioning my decisions. I like that it is humor in a very serious topic. I am curious to see where this is going. I will definately be back to read more.

This is by me, so I probably shouldn't be reviewing it (bias!) but I just wanted to tell everyoine that chapter three is coming soon (right now, in fact!). Thanks to everyone that has reviewed it so far; looking forward to more reviews!

Great story! Though vampire stories can be overdone and overrated, this was a completely original idea.
I will keep looking for more chapters!