What I liked about this piece, and what I think is really interesting is you’ve managed to make the first two verses of each stanza very light, and hopeful, almost as if at the beginning of each section the narrator were exploring the ‘other people’ from a third person perspective. While the last two lines seem to darken the mood of the piece entirely. I don’t think I can remember a time when I saw that done so strikingly. Good job.

I feel like the piece as a whole, was very short to me, I think in this case length is not a bad thing. I feel like just when I was starting to grasp the overall picture you were describing, the poem ended before I had a chance to really initiate myself with it. I did enjoy you concluding verses though, so perhaps I just needed to see more weight in the middle section. Keep up the good work.

Much love,
Juliet.