good one

I love this story!! How long do you intend to make it? 20 chapters? I'm just wondering because you could make this story pretty long, it just seems like your pretty early in it ya know. I believe it was 3 months... Then the prologe takes place two years later. But I understand you have a deadline. I look foward to your next update. :)

I love this story so far and the ending of this chapter was beautiful! =]

Hello, 2009 National Novel Writing Month Winner :)
YOU DID IT! Huge congratulations!
I felt like this chapter had too many word repetitions where you'd say pretty much the same thing twice. This is probably just me. I didn't catch any typos though.
Here's something funny: I was reading this while I talked to my mom on the phone (listened while she talked is probably a better way to say it :) I live a long way from my parents and family and I couldn't go home for Thanksgiving so she was giving me a minute by minute play-by-play. Well, she was telling me about my brother's new girlfriend, whose name happens to start with I. Well, my brother's name starts with K. Guess what I called them? Yep. "So are Kainan and Ione serious, then, Mom?" I said, completely oblivious.
"Katie, are you not paying attention?" my mom asked, chuckling. And then, I realized what I said!
Oh, one other thing: Are you going to change the prologue to better suit the current direction of the story? Because it doesn't really fit what's happened. Maybe you will finish the story in a direction that reflects the prologue, I'm just curious.
PMA! :)
Katie

Congrats on reaching 50k words! :D

Wonderful comparisons in this chapter as Ione is describing Kainan. I can see the fire and the sea in him. In giving her character depth with her thoughts, you give him so much depth too.

I like the connection between his nobility and hers being the possible cause of what makes her special to him. I hadn't thought of that, but it does make perfect sense.

And I can't forget...CONGRATULATIONS on reaching over 50,0 words. Great job! Can't wait to read the ending. I know you can do it!

"no wonderful husband, no suitors"; I think you should change the order of that, since suitors tend to come first.

"I had once had"; I think the first 'had' is unnecessary. It works both ways, but it would read easier.

Is that the real story behind women being bad luck on a ship? I always hear that, but I never bothered to look it up...very interesting concept, the jealousy thing!

I thought he was going to send her away if she has a kid? So what's this about ruling together? :S

- Rebekah

hahaha screw cookies! i have cheesecake and brownies and um chocolate! i shall give you chocolate if you finish this story before nanowrimo is over! mwahahahahahaha...
if u dont get what i just said, please read your a/n because i realize i sound crazy :P
ANYWAYS, it feels like the story is about to be over but i know that there action is going to happen since she birthed a son
what would kainan do if the son died? he already freed all the women so what would he do?

go Mara, GO!!

Aha! The first signs of the pregnancy...I think? I have a slight dislike for pregnant female leads in stories because it's such a cliche thing to do, but 'Forgotten' is anything BUT cliched, so I think I can stand it. :)
The only thing I noticed (and you probably don't even want me to point it out) was this: "She hummed as she helped me back" should that be 'pack'?
I really am not TRYING to be a pain in the rear/grammar-typo Nazi, it's just an unquenchable part of my character...
Also, you maybe said this in your LJ, but you were worried about staying awake at church after all this writing. Just choose the draftiest/furthest-from-the-heater seat in the building and wear capris and a short-sleave shirt. I promise it works... :)
No need to reply to my review until you have time! I'm excited for the next chapter- you're *so* close.
Katie
P.S. PMA--PMA--PMA (I'm now going to tease you about that in all my reviews :)

I was actually thinking about your writing and how it seemed to deviate from your normal spin on your faith (well, from what I've read of yours so far), so I'm glad you addressed that in the A/N.

I don't know if it was because I read very quickly, or if you did a great job in editing this chapter, but I didn't catch anything as I read.

Yay, you're almost done NaNoWriMo! (But the story is nowhere near finished, right?)

- Rebekah

I have been à bad reviewer, but I have been enjoying your work on this story. THE characters seem to gros every chapter, they become multi dimensional!

i love this. :o
at first it made me all depressed and stuff, but now im so into it, its crazy.
not as much as i was into my beloved, though. bahah.
but yeah.
i swear, if you kill kainan in the end, i will find you.
dun dun dun.

Loving the character development of Ione in this chapter. First, sitting back and thinking about what made Kainan this way instead of just assuming he was always this way. I like it. I'm with her. I can't picture him as a little boy either, but I also believe there was a turning point for him.

The realization that she is equal with a commoner in the last part is great too! To see how her upbringing and Mira's have no bearing on their status there BUT that Mira has been able to cope differently because of the past is huge IMO. Ione is growing. That she's questioning everything is proof of that. And Mira's faith! YAH!

how many more chapters? I'm wondering will they meet her parents on this sea-voyage they are taking? maybe then they'll get married somwhow?