 Chesterfield 2009-10-29 . chapter 2So, first off, obviously the first chapter is almost entirely in italics and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't distracting.
But, it's totally forgivable because I think you are an amazing writer. Even though the dialogue is a little cliche, it's fine because I get the feeling you're trying to put across a certain vibe, so it was all very entertaining. Try to switch up your "speaking" verbs and keep going because you're doing a great job. |