You forgot one thing that we have to be thankful for. The family arguements! :)

this could be its own poem and not just an "unfinished" song...

Nice job making the meaning clear without being too blunt...

Sweet.

Aw. ):

Very inspiring lyrics. "Don't worry, just believe/You can take on the world." So true!! :D I also liked the line "You're not the only stranger in this town." Kinda makes me think of like...You're not alone, maybe? Or something... :D Anyway, I liked it. :P

"Should I just go, and, leave it all behind?"

My favourite lines! :D I liked this one alot. I think because just about everyone can relate to it. Who doesn't ever just wish they could get out and be alone to just breathe for a moment, and go where no one knows you and can't really judge you... :D Or something.

this one i picture as a country song...country like Tim Macgraw (sp) not country like John Denver...I don't care for country. It's better than rap though (ok ANYTHING is better than rap) Still I would love to hear it set to music because I can also see it working as light rock song something like the Beatles Goodnight song. (lots of ppl haven't heard that song bc it's right after Number 9 on the White Album but it one of my favorite songs of theirs)

"And when the lights are going down,
And your aroma's all around.
I see the picture, but no sound"
These are my favorite lines!

I really like this. The last few lines wrap up the poem nicely.
This is easy to relate to.

I don't know how you picture this song but in my head I see it having several string instruments. I think a violin would go very well in there and perhaps a flute. You probably think I'm crazy but look at Jethro Tull Ian Anderson does AMAZING things with a flute. I can't think of anyone who does violin right now. But, you get my point. (and I do realize that you play the guitar I'm just telling you how I see it in my head. you do need a guitar in there. I don't think a base would work maybe an aucustic and perhaps a slide on that 2nd verse) Meh, I'm shutting up now!

Did you mean "farther than I can see"?

This is really good because it's got this wide range of emotions that everybody can relate to in some way or another. I, myself, can relate very strongly. I like this on a lot. :)

Ah, risqué, risqué. Naughty little thought here... haha

But I found this line confusing;

"She's not as close as a friend,
but she cant get pretty close to me."

Did you mean "but she CAN get pretty close to me."? Because the way it is now doesn't make much sense...

And, as a matter of personal taste, I found this line too 'blunt,' if I'm putting that right;

"My heart needs to feed, gotta' breed, dirty deed, plant my seed."

Otherwise, like I said, risqué. -wink- It's well written though. :)

Ha! lmao Nice, nice. The words flow it great as well. :D

Sweet! I like this too. haha Especially this line:

"And when the lights are going down,
And your aroma's all around."

-smiles-