Really great story, I'm loving it. Very good vocabulary, and excellent characters. I'm sure i'll read on non-stop until NaNo's over and the story is finished. :3

George2009

Hey again. I'm actually trying out NaNoWriMo too this year (first time!). I'm way behind though at 2514 words XD. Unfortunately, my classes come first, so I don't know if I'll be successful. I'm glad you're making great progress though and am envious of your free time with which you have to write :P. How about we R&R each other's novels at the end of the month? Anyways, for a NaNo novel, this is very well written and polished. Even though the chapter essentially described nothing more than mundane life you were able to make it surprisingly compelling. I only have one pet peeve to point out, and that's repetition (though sadly it has a tendency to pop up in my own writing).

"The time passed easily from that time on."

I'd change to "Time passed easily from then onward." "The time" sounds slightly awk also, but yeah, no biggie.

As much as I'd love to read more, I'll have to hold off until the end of my month, as I have my own novel to worry about among other things. But yeah, let me know if you're interested in a R&R exchange.

Your new story Sanctuary is really well written. The whole story draws you in and makes you want to read more! Good luck with the contest and I can't wait till the next chapter!

hey, this is chelsea.

this is looking good so far. my first thought at the end of her encounter with jasper was 'what a dick', but i'm forgiving him because i've been given inside info about this story, so i have an idea of /why/ he doesn't want to be around her.

keep writing, because it looks good, and i'm sure it'll be a fascinating story.~